How Do We Talk About REDs and Fuelling Without Blame?

I think we need to talk about REDs and fuelling differently.

Because it's very easy for awareness to accidentally become another place for blame.

You should have eaten more.

You should have rested.

You trained too much.

You should have known.

You should have spotted the signs sooner.

But what if you didn't know?

What if nobody had explained it to you?

What if you were eating three meals a day and genuinely thought you were eating enough?

What if your training increased, your life got busier, your appetite changed and suddenly your body needed more than you realised?

What if you were doing everything you thought you were supposed to be doing?

Under-fuelling isn't always intentional

This is one of the biggest things I want people to understand.

Someone can develop low energy availability without consciously trying to eat less.

They can love food.

They can have no interest in losing weight.

They can be eating nutritious meals.

They can be incredibly committed to their sport.

They can be doing everything they believe is “right”.

And still not be giving their body enough energy for everything they're asking it to do.

Because knowing you need to eat enough and being able to consistently eat enough are two different things.

Training changes.

Schedules change.

Appetite changes.

Life gets busy.

You add another session.

You start a new job.

You travel.

You have early mornings.

You get stressed.

You get injured.

You simply don't realise how much your needs have increased.

It's more complicated than:

“You didn't eat enough.”

And that's why blame doesn't help

If someone is already struggling, telling them they should have known isn't particularly useful.

It can create shame.

And shame doesn't make it easier to eat.

It doesn't make it easier to rest.

It doesn't make it easier to ask for help.

It can actually make someone hide what's happening.

I'd much rather ask:

What was happening?

What did you need?

What support was missing?

What could make fuelling easier now?

That's a very different conversation.

We also need to stop making REDs sound like a failure

You haven't failed because your body is struggling.

Your body isn't giving you a grade.

REDs isn't proof that you weren't disciplined enough.

It isn't proof that you didn't care about your sport.

And it certainly isn't something to be ashamed of.

Sometimes your body is simply telling you that the demands being placed on it are greater than the resources available to support them.

That's information.

Not a character judgement.

The same applies to fuelling

I don't want fuelling to become another set of rules.

Another thing athletes can get “wrong”.

Another reason to feel guilty.

You didn't eat the perfect thing.

You missed your recovery window.

You didn't hit the exact number.

You had a busy day.

Real life doesn't work like that.

Sometimes you have a banana.

Sometimes you have a bar.

Sometimes you have toast.

Sometimes you have a full meal.

Sometimes the only thing you can manage before training is something small.

Sometimes your plan changes completely.

That's life.

Fuelling doesn't have to be perfect to be worthwhile.

We need to talk about what we can add

I think this is a really important shift.

Instead of:

What shouldn't I eat?

Try:

What could I add?

Could I add something before training?

Could I take something with me?

Could I have something after?

Could I make breakfast easier?

Could I keep an emergency snack in my bag?

Could I ask someone to help me plan around early sessions?

Could I speak to a sports dietitian if I'm struggling to meet my needs?

It's not about taking things away.

It's about giving your body more of what it needs to do the things you're asking it to do.

And we need to make fuelling practical

Sometimes people don't need another lecture about nutrition.

They need food they will actually eat.

Something that tastes good.

Something they can take with them.

Something that works when they're travelling.

Something they can eat before an early session.

Something they can manage when appetite is low.

Something that doesn't make them dread fuelling.

That's part of why I created RED-Scue.

Because nutrition advice only becomes useful when it can actually fit into someone's life.

We can raise awareness without creating fear

This matters to me too.

I don't want learning about REDs to make people scared of every tired day.

I don't want someone to read a list of symptoms and start monitoring themselves constantly.

I don't want fuelling to become another performance they have to be perfect at.

Awareness should create curiosity, not fear.

It should make you think:

“I wonder what my body needs?”

Not:

“What am I doing wrong?”

Maybe we need to change the question

Instead of asking:

“Why aren't you fuelling properly?”

Ask:

“What is making fuelling difficult?”

Instead of:

“Why are you training so much?”

Ask:

“What demands are you putting on your body right now?”

Instead of:

“Why didn't you notice?”

Ask:

“What could have helped you recognise this earlier?”

And instead of:

“You need to fix this.”

Try:

“You deserve support with this.”

Because there is a huge difference between responsibility and blame.

We can encourage people to take their fuelling seriously without making them feel guilty for struggling with it.

We can talk about the consequences of under-fuelling without frightening people into eating.

We can encourage rest without making someone feel lazy.

We can talk about REDs without making someone feel broken.

That's the conversation I want RED-Scue to be part of

Not:

“You should have known better.”

But:

“Now you know more, what support would help?”

Not:

“You got it wrong.”

But:

“Your body is giving you information.”

Not:

“Try harder.”

But:

“Let's make this easier to do.”

Because people don't need more shame around food.

They need better information.

They need practical support.

They need people who listen.

And they need to know that asking for help isn't admitting failure.

It's part of looking after yourself.

REDs isn't a failure.

Fuelling isn't a test you pass or fail.

And taking care of your body isn't something you have to earn.

Fuel Without Fear.